At the Hour of Your Death
I will punch—
punching holes in fearful symmetry.
I will seek absolution,
offer forgiveness,
offer to trade places with you.
And you?
You'll have all the time of the evermore.
Time to explore every line,
every life,
every dream.
Time to sit with each bubble of the flow,
to extract every remedy and meaning.
Time to mourn with the weepers,
to survey every curvature.
It is all yours.
I will hold you here, if you wish,
in the light of this partial eclipse—
here on a bench
on the edge of the labyrinth.
Above the poppies and the weeds,
the whistling birds delight.
As do I.
I brought incense to burn—
I heard you liked it.
I offer the mid-morning breeze
on your face as a gift.
All of it,
I offer to you.
You are eternal.
You can be whole
Where you like.
But I will hold you here,
if I may—
just long enough
to sit and talk
on the stone bench
as we have always done
before.
This is the part where I say
I am a speck
of a speck
of a dream’s dream.
A haunted hallway
reflecting uncertain
in a pane of glass.
I get swept into the sea—
there,
the symbols break, break, break
against you
looking at me.
It’s not forgetfulness,
but clarity.
Every moment
is all of nothing
cresting on the surface,
deciphered by the poet-king
outside the realm of time.
If you get locked
into the break, break, break
of an endless cycle—
a quantum feedback loop,
a snake eating its own tail,
a figure 8 you can’t unsee—
Know this, Brother:
I carved out this place.
I was friends with your father.
And I am with even now,
counting grains, grains, grains
on a beach in 2015, Santa Cruz—
the week of Passover and Easter.
I’m also on the bench—
the one on the right where you sit—
evolving from the sea
with the spiders in the web.
Think.
Think.
Think.
In the name
of what is good
and true
and real.
Sometimes the words bubble up
from a secret place
where the conversation leans in
like a heavy script.
And I am listening
to the Author,
as the actors themselves
delight to speak
such beautiful lines—
though I do not understand
the meaning at all.
I shall listen again
And again.
A well-meaning purple fragrance
met me halfway
between the overgrown weeds.
It reminded me
of the greatest thing I could ever have.
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